In Mumbai, we do not let our hectic schedules and jet-set lifestyles circumscribe our social lives. True to the spirit of the city, every true Mumbaikar’s life is full of several sets of friends, including:
School/college friends: Common interests and mutual enemies form the bedrock of childhood friendships. Before BFF was coined, people were happy peddling the term ‘best friend’. This didn’t always come cheap – you often had to listen to hours of whining and pining; but you knew that your friend would do the same for you.
Building friends: When you have several storeys of smiles, squabbles, foibles and eccentricities within a few breaths of each other, how can bonds not be formed? This is the stuff that childhood games and evening walks are made of. As strange as it may sound, I haven’t had a building friend since I was 8. My mother, however, more than makes up for this unsociable streak in the family.
Train friends: Local trains play an arterial role in the strip of land that is Mumbai. They are often the fixed points in otherwise volatile lives: many people take the same train every day for years and years. It is no surprise then that the 9.46 Churchgate fast has its own cliques. Women who share jokes, gossip and opinions, men who share jokes, gossip and opinions, making the monotony of metropolitan life a little less tedious.
Sundry: Work friends, gym friends, etc.
After I came to grad school, I was introduced to a new breed of friends. The Friday friends: people you run into every Friday, at a mutual friend’s place or at the club downtown. These are people who have seen you in your finest form, and you have seen them in theirs. You exchange smiles, names, some complaints and sometimes, phone numbers. Conversation, no, small talk brings you closer; but that’s because you cannot hear someone who’s more than six inches away. Occasionally, you get shards of fascinating conversation and confessions. Is it the alcohol? Is it the latent candour that you can summon only while talking to a stranger?
I can’t help but wonder about this eclectic bunch: what’s he like in the day? what’s she like without the make-up? do they really know my name? Of course, I can get to know them better if I try to, but Friday’s gone. I will have to wait another week to make plans with my Friday friends.
16 responses so far ↓
Abhijit Gupta // February 9, 2008 at 8:44 pm |
I found another type of friends, esp coz of being in IIT. This is courtesy the negligible social life in IIT, free internet, that we get talking with chat friends. Funny thing is, they are just a combination of the above categories u mentioned. They can be ur BFFs, or friends just for conversations and gossips, AND one will always wonder what they must be like in their real life, and keep waiting for the next chat..
Irene // February 10, 2008 at 5:15 am |
Hi Amitra:
I am writing a book and blog about female friendships. I loved your post on the topic. Can you email me? Can I interview you for my blog?
Best,
Irene
irene@fracturedfriendships.com
http://www.fracturedfriendships.com
./w // February 10, 2008 at 8:54 am |
@AG: Has it become that bad – “..negligible social life in IIT”? I remember meeting atleast 30 people every single day of my 5 years spent at IITB. Sad, that it has finally come to this.
./w
Amrita // February 10, 2008 at 10:08 am |
@AG: I have never had a chat friend – and I also don’t know anyone who’s ever gone ahead and met a chat friend in person. Chat friends have always remained a mystery to me!
@./w: This was the crux of the LAN ban debate as well. It affected my batch too – we would often chat with our next-door neighbours online, but eventually, no chat room could replace coffee shack.
./w // February 10, 2008 at 6:10 pm |
Yeah, I had seen signs of it and was so thankful that I came in at a time when all-night wing-cack sessions, lakeside and boat-house visits in the evenings, and climbing atop the vihar hill just for kicks were still the norm. I cannot even begin to tell you what an enriching experience most juniors never got a chance to go through. Honestly.
./w
Abhijit Gupta // February 10, 2008 at 8:55 pm |
It depends a bit from person to person, but yeah, things have deteriorated.. plus ofcourse some part of the chatting-orkutgiri-revolution was because of the scarcity of the fairer sex in iit.
Btw, surprisingly (even to me!), I have actually met a chat friend in person.
Amrita // February 10, 2008 at 10:55 pm |
@./w: I wouldn’t say that the new batches are missing out on these experiences altogether. They are perhaps just fewer and far between.
@AG: Was? Did you say ‘was’?
So which part has changed – the revolution or the scarcity?
Abhijit Gupta // February 11, 2008 at 12:17 am |
@./w: I agree with Amrita, we do these things once in a while, maybe slightly phase shifted over to playing pool or going to vihar lake on the republic day..
@Amrita: Lol, obviously the scarcity hasn’t changed
(and thank god, am graduating this year 
). The revolution has changed in the form that its become a norm, and isn’t much of a revolution now.
Rajlakshmi // February 11, 2008 at 5:46 am |
hey amrita
I know someone who hooked up with a chat friend..you know her too….:D .
Amrita // February 11, 2008 at 9:17 am |
@Raj: Ah, of course, how could I forget!
Pritam // February 11, 2008 at 2:52 pm |
What is BFF?
Amrita // February 11, 2008 at 2:55 pm |
Best Friends Forever – an extremely corny phrase that seems to be really common now.
Anonymous // February 14, 2008 at 1:20 am |
@Raj, Amrita: *had* hooked up. I blame it on the ban on GC events and AC in the comp room.
Amrita // February 14, 2008 at 8:25 am |
@Anon: You too?
I was talking about someone else!
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